It was 15 months ago. It was a typical Thursday night. I was on the couch watching TV dozing off trying to recover from my European jet lag. Out of no where, I jumped up. I felt my heart race. I tried to catch my breath. As somebody who has three health degrees I immediately opened my heart monitor in my phone (Android life is the best)...within seconds I could see my heart rate was 97 beats per minute (tachycardia aka rapid heart rate while resting is 100 beats per minute). Something wasn't right. I wasn't working out, I wasn't moving, I was resting and half asleep. I took some deep breaths, not just any breaths, pursed lip breathing; what I used for geriatric patients when I provided health education in a clinic. The type of breath that forces the heart rate to slow down. Within a few minutes it went back down and I went to bed.
As a founder of a consulting firm, I had a potential client meeting the next morning. During the five minute drive to the cafe to meet my client my heart rate soared to 131 and I had pain in my left arm. I pulled over to catch my breath and called the smartest friend I know and asked what I should do. She told me that I was most likely dehydrated from my long international flight three days prior. At the cafe, I chose electrolyte water instead of chai, met with my client (won the contract), then scheduled an appointment with my doctor on Monday.
When I woke up Saturday morning I had chest pain, shortness of breath, pain in my left arm, and a rapid heart rate. I called an advice nurse shared that I had an appointment with my doctor on Monday, but due to my symptoms I was told to go to urgent care. While on the phone I noticed that my left arm and hand went numb. I told the nurse. All of the sudden her tone changed and she told me with panic in her voice "call 911!" Previously working in healthcare I knew how much ambulance visits costs (and I live three minutes from the hospital) so I told her I'd find a way. She disagreed but I assured her I'd make it. I got off the phone.
I put on sweats (and honestly shaved my armpits because I felt my chest would be exposed) and walked across the street to my neighbor's house. In pain and in tears I asked if someone would take me to the emergency room. After blood tests and an EKG it was determined that I didn't have any blood clots or threats to my lungs, but that I had a rapid heart rate and I needed to see my primary care doctor ASAP.
It took forever for Monday to come. My Primary Doctor put me on metroprolol, a beta-blocker to slow down my heart rate. Thursday, a heart monitor was placed on my chest for two weeks. It was just a few days before my 35th birthday. I celebrated my birthday with my twin sister as planned Labor Day Weekend in Las Vegas with a big ole monitor on my chest. We saw Magic Mike Live and the whole time I was like please don't go up heart rate...how will I explain a rapid heart rate to my Cardiologist. Fun fact, when you have a heart monitor on your chest people do not know what to do with you but you can pretty much get away with anything.
A month later my Cardiologist informed me that I had pericarditis, the inflammation of the sac that holds your heart in place. Inflammation spread to my ribs and lungs. I took medication for months, eventually felt a little better, then pericarditis came back. I've had multiple ER visits, echocardiograms, CTs, MRIs, blood tests, procedures and so, so, so many doctor's appointments. The inflammation went away but the pain stayed and my heart was never the same. In the past 15 months I've been diagnosed with the following:
Pericarditis
Costochondritis
Pleurisy
Duodenitis
Tachycardia
Supraventricular Tachycardia
Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia
Coronary Artery Vasopasms
Orthostatic Hypotension
Fast forward I'm now 36. I take pills everyday for pain on my left side and to keep my heart under control. I spent my entire 35th year being sick, being poked, being tested, being frustrated, and being my own advocate. To my 10 doctors, Western and Eastern, I am a puzzle. I was accepted and am being treated at the UCSF Cardiovascular Care and Prevention Clinic and I'm hopeful as they are one of the best institutions for cardiovascular health. My chest itches as I write this as I have my third heart monitor affixed to my chest for the next 30 days. Like I'm being watched and screened (there's a person watching my ECG as we speak, if shit goes down they alert my Cardiologist #2...did I mention I have two Cardiologist...I know...I'm living my best life.
Everyday is hard. Driving is a chore as my left arm gets weak at some point. I get exhausted easily so gone are the days of staying out late or long Target runs. I love to cook, but grocery shopping, standing on my feet, remembering to turn off the stove are all a challenge. I've lost a ton of weight (don't get me wrong I'm here for my summer body) but that is because I get full easy and I always feel like I'm going to regurgitate. Prior to my heart issues I survived severe depression, but some days are sad because duh constant pain is not fun!
If you ask anyone who knows me they'd tell you I'm positive, inspiring, and strong. Most days I feel that but other days are a struggle. Running a company is one of the best pain relievers for me. I love the work that I do and the joy that I feel from it by helping people and their businesses. I'm thankful I have work that allows me to go to all my many doctors appointments and tests and grants me the time to heal. My heart may be broken, but my spirit, my passion are very much alive and strong.
This is the first time professionally that I'm sharing my heart journey. You'll see more over the next couple months with articles and interviews. I encourage all my clients I coach to be their true authentic self. I wasn't living in my full truth mainly because I was hoping this whole thing would go away, but now as 2019 is around the corner, I know that it is my reality and I practice what I preach. Yes it is sad I'm sick. Yes, I know you're sorry (you don’t have to apologize, but that will be another post). But since there were multiple times where I felt I was going to have a heart attack or worse, I live my best life (cue Best Life by Cardi B and Chance the Rapper) every dam day and I would love it if you did the same.
Hear more about my story on the Made Visible Podcast or check out the Like Boss Girls feature.