By Dr. Akilah Cadet
I took a walk today. I know what you are thinking…what's so special about a walk. It has been over 60 days since I took a walk. Sixty days! Something so common, normal, and routine like walking to a meeting, train, or around the grocery store are incredible sources of fear for me due to COVD19.
As many of you know I live with a rare heart condition. As my primary doctor told me while giving me a flu shot and pneumovax (prevents lung, brain, and blood infections) this past October, she said “you can't get sick…it's not going to be good for you.” Coronavirus was like hold my beer. With rapidly changing research and data coming out about coronavirus and the heart I went into a deep depression. Short version coronavirus attacks the heart the same way it does the lungs.
My heart is already at a disadvantage. And consultation with my cardiologist I made the decision to stay indoors indefinitely until I received a vaccine. Today is day 70. In our exchange three weeks ago I said, “I'm working up the courage to take a walk.”
I don't know if it was how the sun was hitting my forehead this morning as a friend dropped off almond milk for the millionth time. Or if it was the fact that my postman (he is a lovely guy that I thank as much as possible) came early today and I had time sensitive packages that needed to be sent. Either way I took a walk.
Now in true Virgo form I had to have a purpose of the walk. Sixteen dollars in prepaid labels expiring at 11:59pm was the purpose I needed. As I was preparing the packages, I had a feeling that the postman already came. When I confirmed this was true, I walked back upstairs to my unit literally looked myself in the bathroom mirror (think Issa Rae in Insecure) and said I was going to do this.
I put on my outside clothes (yes I have outside clothes) land aced up my Nikes (yes outside sneakers) first time in 60+ days. I grabbed my packages and headed to the USPS mailbox. When I made it past my entryway and headed to cross the street I just kept going. There was a car in the intersection and I did not care. I was on a mission.
As I turned right to head up a hill where literally on the other side was a mailbox (like a rainbow and pot of gold) I saw a shit ton of people. I zigged and zagged between cars parked on the street. I did the diagonal cross the street move and felt myself going into tachycardia. Walking with people around me was incredibly stressful. I started to get hot.
My focus changed to my breath as I went down the hill. Person with the dog, I walked in the street. Person without a mask, internal judgement, crossed the street. Then there it was, the mailbox. AND the mailman was parked right next to it walking to his truck! He saw me crossing the street and I gently lifted my packages. He waved me over. I handed my packages to him stretching my arm as far as I could to keep us safe. I thanked him for EVERYTHING! (Support USPS by the way, like seriously, we need to vote by mail).
With a quick turn I was headed back up the hill. I was feeling better and more in control as I navigated people, cars, and the street. I took pictures. Then I paused. "I did it" I thought to myself. Took a breath. Took a selfie. Within minutes I was back home. Safe.
Ten minutes. I was only gone for 10 minutes and I felt like I conquered the world. Now I probably will not do an afternoon walk again because it did take a lot out of me. I will work towards an early morning 6am walk when it feels right. I know I need to go outside and I also need to live. For now, I am going to celebrate with some cookies.
Please wear a mask. Think of others. Be kind. Stay safe